Why do I do it?
The only known fact about life is that eventually we will all die. Sounds harsh, right? But it's true. The thought of death or dying is ranked very high on the list of fears that most people have. Even with that fear most have the understanding that making for end-of -life plans is important, however, few have done so(about 27%). We have amazing technology that can assist us in living well into the late stages of our lives or our illnesses. This has turned death and dying into somewhat of a painstaking experience for ourselves as well as our loved ones. We all have an idea that it's coming but no one wants to accept it.
Even when faced with the inevitable, sometimes we can still be afraid of what’s to come or be in disbelief of the news we have received. End-of-life doulas work to help remove some, if not all, of the fear and denial surrounding death and the dying process. We want people to understand that dying is just as sacred as giving birth.
Ever so slowly we are transitioning back to a society where we can have an open and honest conversation about death. This is key in creating a plan for a healthy end of life experience ahead of time. We want to aid in the creation, execution, and implementation of these plans and to take the taboo out of the dying experience.
How can I help?
Almost everyone has heard the saying, "If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail." It really rings true during the end-of-life experience.
By creating end of life plans, assigning persons to make or enforce medical decisions, organizing and acquiring important paperwork, outlining burial requests and plans, creating legacy projects, and outlining comfort and care ideals, I hope to help ease some of the most common questions and unsurety while caring for a loved one who is going through the dying process.
About Me
My name is Jennifer Owens. I am a mother, wife, death doula/midwife, elder care doula, and retired United States Navy Chief Petty Officer. My goal is to help families take some of the fear and uncertainty out of dying by planning ahead. It is a lofty goal indeed, but with planning and having the difficult, intimate conversations early, it is very achievable.
I think back to when my premature daughter died at 42 days old. She was my second loss. My first loss was my daughter Angelina. I lost her about 23 weeks into my pregnancy in 2008. I didn't have a funeral for Angelina because I wasn't made aware that it was an option.
I remember how smooth things were with the assistance of a pastor and his wife who had knowledge of the workings of funeral homes and of the services that were needed to bury my tiny baby Lyric. I had no idea what went into planning a funeral but I was very grateful to have someone who knew the "ins and outs" of dying and the funeral industry.
The name From Butterflies to Angels comes from my daughters Angelina and Lyric. Angelina, my angel, because I was told I could not conceive children and Lyric, my little caterpillar, who I was going to watch evolve into a beautiful butterfly.
I unofficially founded From Butterflies to Angels in 2013. I say unofficially because I started planning for my death and the death of my loved ones when I realized that death is not as cut and dry as it seems in the movies. Movie funerals are in fact pure fantasy compared to planning the real thing. Prior to losing Lyric, I had no idea how complex planning a funeral actually was. This fueled my desire to help others the way I was helped during a very turbulent time in my life. I had immense goals but the grief was still to fresh so I wasn't able to find my footing at the time.
Originally, my plan was to help military members because we are often miles away from family and would need support in the immediate area. I also wanted to help moms who lost their babies prematurely. However, once I began attending trainings and seminars about end-of-life planning and death doula services, I knew I needed to serve a broader community as well. I decided to "put the pedal to the metal" and get to work.
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